Psalms 16:11 (NLT) – You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.
The beginning
I love this verse of the Bible because it paints this beautiful picture of me being able to hold on to Gods hand. I feel like a little child being able to hold his hand, not knowing what the journey is going to look like but being totally at peace, because I have a great father and He knows the way.
Having faith in God was always very important and encouraged in my family. My ancestors are German and they moved to Russia to be able to live out their faith. In Russia, they were asked to work the land. Most of them stayed together in German communities and they became wealthy through their hard work. Then the first World War began and this group, now known Russian Germans, were abducted, sent all over the Russian federation and placed in work camps to inhibit them from joining forces with Germany.… This is how my grandparents happened to end up in Kazakhstan.
I was born and raised, as a second daughter, into a modest family in Kazakhstan. We were living with my grandparents and at that time life was challenging, because the communist Russian federation had fallen apart and with it the economy, dreams, and future of its people. It was challenging to find work and to buy the simple necessities of life. For example, my mom would tell me stories that we couldn’t even buy diapers during those days because there weren’t any available. She would have to make handmade fabric diapers. We grew our own fruits and vegetables, and kept some farm animals to supply us with milk, eggs and on special occasions, meat. But for me… life was beautiful. Growing up in a loving surrounding is all a child remembers after all. It was an adventure for me when my parents shared their decision with us to move back to Germany as a family, I was about four years old at the time, and I was excited to get to know and see my extended family.
How I met Jesus
I wasn’t aware of all the challenges that my parents went through, like settling in a new country, having to learn German, getting used to a new culture. Because most church members had a similar story to ours, and we felt like family, I liked going to the Baptist church with my parents every Sunday and hearing stories about God and Jesus. The bible stories were a part of my life but didn’t speak to me in any special way.… I tried frequently to be a good person, meaning . I would try not to fight with my siblings, try to obey the things my mom told me or asked of me. But at the end of the day, I realized I just couldn’t be “good” on my own. It felt like the more I tried to be kind and loving and good, the more I would see the opposite happening. For example, I had anger towards people and a desire to fight them. But one day a pastor shared his experience with Jesus and for the first time in my life, I saw all my wrong decisions and actions like a wall cutting me off from God’s goodness and love. I understood that I’m not able to break down this barrier but that Jesus could. Praying to him, telling him about my failures and confessing all my wrongdoing to him was breaking the wall between God and me. That night I experienced how beautiful it is to know Jesus and experience forgiveness from God.
The process
Life continued and for me following Jesus meant going to church, being involved in as many church events and programs as possible, reading my bible and saying my evening prayer. As I grew older, I eventually got baptized and became more involved in the church’s kids’ ministry. Even though I felt like a “good Christian”, somehow, I still felt a void from time to time. I was questioning whether this was all that it meant to follow Jesus.
I believe God has put a desire deep inside of all of us human beings to long for more. But this longing can only be filled by Him.
I’m always amazed at how God is writing His story with each one of us. And no matter if we find our story boring or eventful, it is always worth sharing with others. We never know how God will use the way we experienced Him to encourage and challenge others.
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT – For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.